Its been too long

Hola! Guten Tag! Bonjour! Bonjourno! etc etc. Hello and welcome back to all the readers of my blog - its been to long - far too long.

To kick off - Happy Belated B'day John - I know I miss it every year, but what to do - I cannot understand the need for you to leave the security of your mom's womb bang in the middle of exam season!

Today (although it still feels like yesterday) kicked off in a very auspicious manner - wasp deconservation. The UK Law Society's Gazette is not a good option (mental note to myself has been made - tehelka, tehelka, tehelka)

Shreyas did the unthinkable yesterday - haircut. But that's not the end of it - I shall elaborate:

I wake up like its any other morning, but realise it isn't for two reasons. One, its the first day after the exams have ended (the lower back pains have consequently reduced to a great extent), and second, I know I'm going to get a haircut this morning. I slowly drain the relatively empty cup of coffee provided as part of morning rations, taking several breaks from the TOI to admire the hair and run my fingers through it for the last few minutes before the death knell is sounded.

I mournfully walk out the front door and try to calm and comfort myself with the only thing that can at a time like this - Smells Like Teenspirit. The Wallace lift also experiences considerable headbanging (one last time again). As the train leaves Marine Lines and commences the 3 minute trudge to Churchgate, I can almost feel a tear running down my cheek and then realise its a guy washing his hands and generally making a nuisance of himself. His botlle (and very nearly a large part of his body too!) was shown the traditional Bombay courtesy for depositing unsolicited water on others in a season other than the monsoons.

I walk in to the barber's saloon and take the seat shown to me and find myself in half a mind to get up punch the guy holding the door open in the face and running back home. (the punch part is really just a post -exam stress buster!) The barber comes in, already cursing his luck for getting to cut my hair and begins his work. I say "chhota, crew cut". He begins using the scissors, then stops - turns to the mirror and with this pleading look in his eyes, yet in an authoritative voice asks, "machine isthamal karoon?" I ask hi how long the remnants of that operation will be and he holds up one and a half phalanges. I thought to myself and then said "thik hai - magar choti nahin chahiye" He was almost kissing my feet at this stage.

And so it began! This is a procedure that a good friend of mine goes through everytime he visits the barber and I now appreciate the benefits of it - quick, pain and effort free. 6 minutes and I go from neanderthal to Panchen Lama (who turned 16 some days back - Happy Birthday to him too) Not to show off that he hasn't done any work, the barber follows Air-Cool's strict procedure and brings out the mirror to show me the back of my head - I give him this dude-are-you-mocking-me-and-if-you-are-no-tip-for-you expression and make the appropriate grunting sounds that signify a thumbs up.

For an estimate of what I look like now - check the photo labelled twins in my last blog!!!

Anyway - now I have too much to think about what with the finals of the Champions League to be contested in Istanbul between an Italian and an English club - I cannot believe how good Paolo Maldini remains even at this age - he still keeps up with the best of them - I would just love to see him lift the European trophy one more time.

Anyway - here's the sign off line for today:

"Your father is rich, he's the judge, he's the man,
he's the God that got your sentence reduced
But in the back of his mind, he well knows what
he'd find if he looked a little deeper in you"

Pantera (Drag the Waters off Great Southern Trendkill) - for all the judges who are going to commute my sentence when I commit my first cognizable crime!

Happy Birthday Anna

There's something about my room.(ok - our room, anna!) Just yesterday I had to render another blow to wasp conservation in Bombay (I used a Tehelka this time - even better than an ET - refer to past blog for context). Today, just before I started punching my keyboard, this huge bumblebee (and I mean HUGE- must have been the size of an old TT ball - 35 mm diameter i.e.) came looking for stale air, I presume. It did a reconn of the room with one Stray Ass ducking away and then left. I hope it wasn't a reconn mission!

Studies are as nail biting inducing as ever. I cannot remember what I read yesterday, leave alone what I read 1 month back - why did I start so early - I knew there was merit in vacillating till eternity. What this means is that I shall not blog again before the 21st at least i.e. after my Consti paper when I get 3 days for Family.

That also means that I won't be able to wish anna on on my blog for his Birthday - so Happy Birthday, anna. Here are two shots of the two of us - you'll remember them, I'm sure. Varying levels of hair growth, myopia and warmth:

Cold Cold Wimbledon..or was it the ground outside?

What's so funny?

Twins!!

Mozart and Maiden in Tandem

Its amazing how some good music can just make you forget about the problems in your life for those few minutes that you sit in front of the speaker enthralled. I refer to Mozart's German Dance No.1 in D. If anyone can get a hold of it - sit and listen - it only lasts about 120 seconds. You can almost picture a couple dancing gracefully in one those beautiful and enormous ballrooms in Vienna or Salzburg. (A little larger one than that portrayed by Rogers & Hammerstein).

That's gotten me a little philisophical:

Will we ever know what the answer to life really is?
Can you really tell me what life is?
Maybe all the things that you know that are precious to you
Could be swept away by fate's own hand.

We’re blood brothers, we’re blood brothers
We’re blood brothers, we’re blood brothers

If you haven't guessed the song name - it's 'Blood Brothers' off Brave New World - Iron Maiden, for the unitiated.

Yesterday - I found some success for all the years of trying - anna quoted a Nirvana song in his blog - 'All Apologies' - great pick anna. You can thank me later!!

Something's that's been worrying my troubled little brain over the past few days is this business about the bus from PoK to J&K. Unfortunately - my umpteen (this is called hopefulness) readers will have to wait for the discourse thanks to constraints on my time - bis dann!

Common, but no wealth

Somnath Chatterjee, the endearing Speaker of the Lok Sabha has shown how incredibly unreasonable a person can get when suffering from OCD. (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - for the uninformed - go watch 'As Good As it Gets') It seems mananiya adhyaksha ji's body comes over with rashes when anyone touches him. (heartfelt exaggeration this, I assure you)
It's an odd excuse not to go to a Commonwealth Parliamentary Meet because the guards at airport security will frisk you before you enter their country. It seems it hurts his national pride! (This was the official statement - no exaggeration here)

'I cannot understand the wretch at all'

So sang Rex Harrison of Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady. Give or take an adjective and noun, I think it is fairly close to my thoughts on the Speaker.

The Commonwealth Meet topic takes me back to a humorous (now..not then) incident in my life. It all started when we decided to meet the Governor, Mr. S.M. Krishna, to invite him to come down for DMH. We were generally talking, while I was holding back daily ablutions (hehe) hoping for the best deal out of the meeting. Shaky tea cups and 15 minutes of mental nail-biting later - we got the worst deal of the lot. I then committed my famous (for me) faus pax before the Guv took off recalling his days in 1966 when he attended a Commonwealth Meet. (despite being frisked, I'm sure) I mentioned a few countries, and happened to mention Nigeria as one without a strong legal system - the Guv nearly snapped back - 'Commonwealth country boy!!'..he seemed to say. The Nigerian delegate was very good, I believe..etc. etc.... I shall not reproduce the meeting in detail for fear of crying at what could have been. I shall also not state why we got the worst deal for fear of a suit for defamation - go figure!

This is from a song called '22 Acacia Avenue' by Iron Maiden. Mr. Dickinson (lead vocalist) seems to coax us into going somewhere - I rejected his advice.

'If you’re feeling down depressed and lonely
I know a place where we can go
22 acacia avenue meet a lady that I know
So if you’re looking for a good time
And you’re prepared to pay the price
Fifteen quid is all she asks for
Everybody’s got their vice'

Bruce Dickinson has one of the best voices you will ever hear - go listen to a song called 'Man of Sorrows' off his albulm 'Accident of Birth' - the entire song is held together by his voice and one fantastic lead. It's amazing what one can do when you have a lead vocalist with range like that. Couple that with incredible riffs from Steve Harris - and you get "IRON MAIDEN" - gods of Power Metal.

I say all this only because I'm listening to one of their songs right now. More interesting blogs after the exams. Suggestions are welcome.

T-Shirt Conservation

In a fit of absolute madness, I ripped the sleeves off one of my favourite T-Shirts. The shirt was (it still is actually, albeit in a slightly modified avatar) one of the oldest T-Shirts I possess - dating back to my early days on returning to Bombay. I've done this before and I can only deduce one possible explanation for such behaviour - preservation of property.

Amma often threatens to take fatal action against several T-Shirts which struggle to cover my ever shrinking waistline - a fashion conscious female's dream top - a fashionless male's mother's cue to take the critical step. This consequently leads to the "Not that one surely" line from the son.

Flashback: As a kid - a lot of the T-Shirts I wore were already used and abused by anna. Not that I ever complained about it - it just meant that I wouldn't have to feel bad about ruining perfectly good new T-Shirts through constant exposure to the mud and dirt from Wallace's gardens. My only demand was that I be allowed to use the T-Shirt as long as anna had - reasonable surely? The argument was usually struck by Her Lordship of the time. The years and a characteristic stubborness have enabled me to win a few of these nowadays.

When the T-Shirt is spotted with numerous holes under the arms, on the sleeves and elsewhere - the best way to distract the mother from observing these is to create a much larger hole - it's worked before - here I go again!

"We didn't start the fire
It was always burning since the worlds were turning.
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it, but we tried to fight it."

This is not one of my favourite songs- its just on right now, so I figured I'd shove the lyrics in.

Remedial Chewing Gum

Today, while enduring the long hours of misery in the College Library, I saw these kids playing cricket in the adjoining compund and was cursing my luck for having to wade through a 2500 page book full of intricacies of the law, which I may never actually use.

One of the remarkable features of this year's study time has been the sudden decrease in the amount that I chew my fingers and nails. Before you start jumping to conclusions, there's a reason behind it - remedial chewing gum. I've discovered that the urge to deposit pieces of nail and skin in the buccal cavity greatly reduces when there is already gum in it. So, for all the nail biters - you know the way through. And come to think of it - not chewing my hand for several hours a day has also reduced the amount I chew when there's no gum in the mouth.

The Pope passed away last evening - I guess it was just a question of when, when you see how bad his health was over the past few years. I just finished going through a feature on John Paul II on the Washington Post's site - most educative. TOI has high hopes putting an Indian Cardinal as a possible successor. I think that's a bit far fetched, even though it'll be great. After a non-Italian Pope for so many years, I'm pretty sure all of Italy, including the Cardinals will be eager to get the crown back home, so to speak.
Its a pretty monotonous and painstaking process to elect a new Pope - the Church should really listen to Kris Novoselic on one his Spitfire tours for election process options.

Nothing interesting is happening in my life and therefore the blogs will remain uninteresting too. Am also extremely zapped in the brain every evening - I shall nonetheless try and make myself laugh at my blog at least once a week - no quote today.

Printing and picking

I spent a while at one of the places I've loved frequenting in my three years of law - the friendly printer! I've spent days (and full nights, mind you) at the printer staring into a monitor which contains things that will be reproduced on paper and make me proud. The subject matter of today's excursion was an appeal letter for the College's 150th year Celebrations. Don't squint at my face when you read this - this is something very close to the heart, (watch Shreyas get all senti here again) and 18 days before my exams, I really don't mind spending some time on it.

The appeal letter is approximately 250 words of pure literary genius. Or at least it should be, seeing as it's been in the process of drafting for the past 6 months in the hands of numerous Judges, lawyers, ex-students, professors and how can one forget - students. Anyway, things have sorted themselves out and we're good to go on this one.All those earning a bit of money - please remember to allot some for my College - every drop counts.

Going to the printer, I also had a chance to test out the iPod earphones-in-helmet pose. I can't say it's the most comfortable - but it does help whenever I get stuck in traffic and am inhaling the fumes from an overloaded, under-maintained, 6 wheeled, diesel guzzling, cacophony-producing monstrosity (aka lorry).

I've also got a new lease of life as regards my guitar playing. Songs are coming to the fingers a bit more, although the finger chewing habit doesn't help the pain factor. For anyone who plays - the bass on Nirvana's 'Love Buzz' is extremely easy and sounds great- just find the right tabs - a lot of the stuff out on the net is wrong. www.fretplay.com is fairly reliable. Also songs like 'Polly' and 'Verse Chorus Verse' which are great ones to sing - you don't need any percussion because Nirvana never did - are really easy. Just keep yourself to the power chords. It doesn't sound great at the first go, but once you get the timing right with the singing, all is good!

I'm really tired- it's been a very warm day here in Bombay, as was it in Cochin, where the 1st Indo-Pak ODI was played. We won!

This one's from Aneurysm. 3 guesses for the band - no treats for this one:

"Come on over and do the twist.
Overdo it and have a fit.
Love you so much it makes me sick.
Come on over and shoot the shit.

Beat me outta me.
Beat me outta me.
Beat me outta me."

Info Boom on T-Shirts

I was absolutely dying to ride the bike yesterday. It was the last day that bikers in Bombay could legally go around without protecting their thick skulls. Unfortunately, my body's date clock has just switched off - what with everyday being a Sunday. So I only really found out it was the 31st in the middle of the afternoon. This sensational piece of information did two things; first, it made me realise that I only have 18 days to go before the Bombay University begins to undertake what a Professor of mine threatened to do, (and I'm sure they know how to do it too!)

Note: Apologies to non-classmates who don't get the above. To classmates and other aware GLC'ite readers - do not elaborate on the above in comments - my mother uses my blog to figure out the details in my life - all the best amma!

The second thing the information brought about was really a consequence of the first, that seeing as there are only 18 days left - you better not be indulging in bike rides to nowhere. Much depression followed for the next 2-3 minutes. Then came some food and all was well again.

Speaking of food, it's absolutely astounding how a little morsel of moderately decent tasting food can do wonders for your mood as well as concentration. I've also found that exam time is the best time to read mundane and incredibly long articles in a journal I subscribe to.. it is extremely difficult to go through these 50-odd page articles in the usual course of things.

Call this disconnected thought if you will, but for some reason I just remembered a T-Shirt that was being peddled around in my Delhi school, which read 'I am a Modernite, who the hell are you?' (Correct me if I'm wrong anna)

I also recall some sort of uproar amongst the teachers about this T-Shirt and if I wasn't going through one of my periodical non-lucid intervals, I believe the Principal addressed the issue in assembly. As a mature 11 year-old, one is very much in touch with the extremes of morality, and whatever the Principal said was absorbed like a sponge. The effect of his cogent putting down of the T-Shirt's literature wore off by the time I hit 12. I'm actually wondering what the GLC T-Shirt should say. Perhaps:
'It is hereby communicated to one and all that the wearer of this article of clothing is a GLC'ite. The wearer hereby inquires who, in the name of the Devil's permanent residence, is the beholder of the aforementioned article."

The first GLC T-Shirt that came out was positively atrocious, the second so-so, but better. I'd like to see a really good third one - ideas as to what colour combo, literature etc. are welcome. Something that people will look at and smile/laugh please.

Have to get on to studying now - so I shall wrap this blog up with a verse from this Nirvana song which has been ringing in my head since yesterday, called 'Milk It'. It is one of Kurt Cobain's extremely random acts of song writing - but I shall give you one of the more lucid verses. The song led me to figure out what endorphins are:

"I am my own parasite,
I don't need a host to live.
We can feed off of each other,
we can share our endorphins."