Tuesday 29 March 2005

Road Rage

The Maharashtra law on compulsory helmet wearing for both rider and pillion comes into force from the 1st of April. It had actually been laid down some months ago, but then the usual complaints from consumer groups about a lack of supply of ISI certified helmets made the High Court pass an order postponing the actual implementation of the rule.

The general public in Bombay and Maharashtra obviously have harder or thicker skulls than others, because I remember this rule coming into force in Delhi when I was there and that was a good 7-8 years back. (Oh god - I'm soooo old!!) I think the main reason Bombay hasn't found the need to implement this rule is that the traffic is a lot slower than Delhi leading to far fewer deaths/injuries. Not that helmets really help, mind you. I recall losing someone I knew very well to a scooter accident. It's been 8 years this month.

One of the main problems for me personally, of course, is the fact that the iPod's earphones are going to have to go inside the helmet. It's not impossible - I did go through the rigours when it was compulsory to wear helmets for a short while. My only complaint is that it gets a bit tiresome to take off my spectacles, put on the earphones, put on the helmet, then put the glasses back on - if I'm riding during the day - clip the dark glasses attachment on and only then kickstart 'the' bike. The whole process is repeated in reverse when I get off the bike...this is going to be a looong summer.

Today was a bad day on the bike. In the morning, on the way to College, some &$%#$)#*($@$*&#*$*@&# opened his door and virtually knocked me over at a signal on Marine Drive. I gave him a taste of my education in Delhi. On the way back, (and this was after an insanely frustrating day in the Library) I was very peacefully enjoying 'Unforgiven II' by Metallica at the Chowpatty signal when I feel something rubbing against my leg.

For the record, I am not an extremely dog-friendly chap. That is to say, I will not randomly pat a cute and friendly looking dog, stray or domestic. Nor will I ever have my mouth licked by anybody's, or even my own canine pet, as I have been witness to many such utterly gross incidents. Further, dogs rubbing against my leg are a big no-no and I often find myself talking to dogs, stray and domestic, telling them to stay away from me - it invariably works.

The rubbing did not stop. In fact, it was now starting to hurt my leg a bit. I look to my right and see a very cute little MARUTI ZEN shoving its left front tyre over my right foot! BANG! (Resonant bonnets these Zens have, particularly when hit hard enough with one's fist.) My Delhi education was not utilised - my Bombay education came to my rescue this time. The driver was oblivious....he not only had no idea what I was saying, but he also didn't know that the tyre had not stopped completing multiple revolutions. Another signifacntly loud hit on the wonderfully accoustic bonnet was required in order to prevent what would have been a fascinating episode for the Bombay public to watch. I'm always up to picking a fight in public in Bombay - the first one screams that the other is a criminal gets crowd support - and that usually means you win the fight too!

My supply of quotes in my mind is running thin these days. I shall take one from this beautiful song by the surviving members of Nirvana - 'Plugged Out' - its a tribute to Kurt Cobain. If you know a little about him, you'll figure out the lyrics:

"It's a drug that finds you dreaming,
takes you just because it can.
Like a gun that finds you sleeping,
kills you just because it's there."

Monday 28 March 2005

Law of the Hair

This is the first time that I'm going to be blogging twice in a day. It's not that I don't have things to study - it's just that Environmental Law coupled with the Christian Marriage Act can get you down a bit. So I turned to Constitution for help - none there.

The object of much of my attention over the past few days has been my hair. As I do every year after DMH - I've decided to grow my hair till July. I have friends who have offered to buy me hairbands when the hair is long enough to be tied up. Others have offered to plait it. Mothers have, of course, offered to cut it on several occasions as will, undoubtedly, brothers. The only difference being that the brother will probably succeed. In any case, I don't think I'm going to be able to last this one out - so come Wednesday or Thursday, you can expect to see me with the Frenchie and no hair on the head. (Not to be taken literally please)

Tinkerbell won the treat - a bun maska & chai in the College canteen. Kindly ignore the second part of Tinker's comment. Plagiarism is a very serious accusation and cannot be tenable without adequate proof - unlikely in this case.

My College is looking good - it's no longer a Government pink and I feel all the work is slowly beginning to bear fruit. There is, of course, much more that needs to be done with the place, but we're getting there. Hopefully, by the time I get out - it'll be a much better place to spend 5 years than it was when I entered it. The sentimentality is getting on my nerves - it is extremely unnerving. (no pun intended) I usually do not indulge in these types of thoughts...something is terribly wrong. I think I have a crush on my College. (No wait - that was two years ago - I'm probably in love now. Maybe we'll tie the knot in a year or two)

Clueless rambling -the way to go. Now it's dinner time and unfortunately I do not have a quote ready, nor can I think of one - even from the Kurt armoury.

Sunday 27 March 2005

Visa Power

The first ever blogger, I read, was given a pass to visit the White House after they were innundated with mails asking for the same. He allegedly described the experience as 'surreal' and 'anti-climatic'..hmmm.. no Hindi movies on this one.

I was watching an episode of the 'Big Fight' on NDTV last evening. People, particularly the host, were yelling (I'm told by some that it's either a debate or a discussion - I refuse to accept either description) about one Mr. Modi's lack of visa approval to one far-off barbaric land called the USA. I found that the panelists had wasted a good part of their Saturday evening raising their blood pressure about nothing.
The brainiest comment came from the host himself - He said "When Narendra Modi spoke in Gujarat, he attacked Bush and his policies outright. But when he spoke to the US over satellite, he was very reserved and did not address the issue." The host's facial expressions told me that he expected a response from the BJP representative on the panel... I wonder what he would have said, had he answered it. Perhaps, 'Rajdeep, your understanding of diplomacy and basic tenets of inter-country relations is akin to that of a 5 year-old with serious attention-span deficiencies.'

Now, at no stage do I think that Modi has a brilliant human rights track record or anything in that region, but the whole discussion is pointless when you're arguing about a country's sovereign right to deny entry to a person they believe can cause problems. It's very simple, some chap from some god-forsaken nation in the South Pacific with a penchant for causing riots in his nation wants to enter your country. You are genuinely scared (or paranoid, for that matter) that he might do the same here. It's your right to tell him to buzz off. This is not to say that I support the US' decision. A CM of a State should certainly be allowed to travel to countries, it's goodwill among nations. The US have, of course, done their homework. The Government at the Centre has its hands tied, because any sort of major complaint in the press or brouhaha about this and it will be construed as condonation of the Gujarat riots. Hats off to Uncle Sam.

I've just broken yesterday's resolution of not writing blogs in the morning..but..I'll take it.

'My grandfather told me that there are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try and be in the first group - there's less competition there'

- A treat for the person who guesses who said this.

Saturday 26 March 2005

Honkytonk Bombay and Sentimentality

The other day, for the first time in several weeks, I rode 'the' bike without the iPod on. It was a most unsatisfactory experience. I had no idea, or rather no recollection, that so many people honk away to gay glory here. Also, synchronised traffic from College to home (both mine again) is a sham at around 6:57 p.m. on a Thursday evening.

I now have broadband, which means that I can cannect and type my blogs while talking to someone on the phone. Isn't technology astounding? The only minor hitch is that no one really calls, I don't, and conversations are usually never long unless it means discussion of something related to College. (ala MCA etc.)

Today's Holi - I shall sadly (for some), and happily (for me) not be participating in the festivities. The juvenile, immature pleasure that I used derived from throwing chemicals and water balloons at peers and foes alike has somewhat dwindled over the years. Possibly the only thing that might lure me into the water is the Bhang. Sadly - no one has offered to fund my getting high on it, and Holi shall remain a memory from a day in the College Library this year.

Something's come over me - I think it's the feeling that I'm extremely old. I went through this brief, yet shocking mid-life crisis (for information on why mid-life, kindly refer to prior blog - title forgotten) during a conversation yesterday. I gave my 10th Std. exams 5 years ago. Ouch! I'm nearly 21. In a few months time, I can drink beer in Maharashtra. Where have the years gone?
Disclaimer: The object of this paragraph is not to be construed as a method to depress those far elder to me.

I've also gotten also sentimental about my College. (Current one only) It's not that I didn't feel much for it earlier, but this time it was like the feeling you get when you're leaving an institution. I then consciously told myself that there were still 2 more years of the Bombay University to endure. (sentimentality quickly turned into depression). I even carried 'my' camera(This too, is disputed - seeing as everyone in the family - including those with relative non-savvyness with cameras despite good eyes for shots - desire possession) to College yesterday in the hope that I'll get some good shots. Of course, when you start reading about how a Muslim wife can divorce her husband by a method called Zihar, (go look it up - it's madly interesting) you completely forget about photography.

But I'm writing this blog at the start of my day - so I shall not depress myself more than I need to. Today, I begin Environmental Law - I hope to finish a fair amount by tonight. I have no idea why I'm writing all this. Suffice to say - I will not write blogs in the mornings after this.

No quote today - cannot think of any. No wait - yes, I can- Kurt to the rescue:

"I'm not that dumb, but I can pretend
The sun is gone, but I have a light
The day is done, but I'm having fun
I think I'm dumb, or maybe just happy"

Wednesday 23 March 2005

The Walk to Intellectuality

Things have been very morbid for me over the past two days. I have spent a significant amount of my time reading about ways in which people have, and consequently, I can kill other human beings. This does not, of course, mean that I haven't had morbid thoughts in the past... it's just that I simply didn't keep reading page upon page of it in a reference book. (NB: Asking me when I had morbid thoughts in the past is hereby deemed beyond the scope of any comments that may be sent in)

Don't get me wrong though - I thoroughly enjoyed reading page upon page - it didn't necessarily make me happy to do so nor did it ease the constant exam-induced depression that I suffer from, but it did make for interesting reading. Couple that with Lord Denning's crisp sentences and a romantic age poem or two in my breaks and thats some variety..isn't it??

Anyway - on to more serious things now. I had this extremely scary feeling that my life was really boring at the moment, and in danger of getting more so very soon. This feeling came about when I walked back from the railway station to home - a walk that always feels like it durates (if I haven't told you the history behind that word - please find out from somebody who I have) an age, but really lasts about 4 minutes.
This is due to the fact that my most profound thinking on life and matters surrounding it takes place in this brief, yet undoubtedly intellectually-productive interval. (These include a decision to produce a literary masterpiece on my activities relating to wasp conservation in Bombay)

The intellectual activity during the walk home is also one of several reasons that I prefer using 'my' (please refer to previous blog - title forgotten - for an explanation to the use of inverted commas) bike to move around. It gives me far less opportunity to examine things which need not be examined at junctures which invariably turn out to be uncomfortable.

I have, therefore, decided that I shall make my life as interesting as possible from hereon. I shall study a minimum of 'n' hours a day. (Kindly note the smart use of a variable here) Furthermore, I shall indulge in my favourite hobby of locating and swatting mosquitoes for a considerable period of time every day. I am also now determined to 'read' the Bombay Times (available on Sunday too.. Yay!!) from cover to cover for two reasons. First, to improve my sense of fashion, women's in particular, which I have been told is currently non-existent. (I have enrolled myself in almost every female friend's personal course on the subject) Second, the intense analysis of a BT edition would enhance my writing skills and will enable me to put in bold the appropriate words so that they are seen by all.

I am also open to further suggestion. Frivolous suggestions are kindly to be avoided.This is a very crucial time in my first mid-life crisis. (I don't hope to live beyond the age of 40 - it seems too strenuous...or boring!)

So a quote to sign off - most appropriate for the occasion:

"When people are bored, it is primarily with their own selves that they are bored"
- Eric Hoffer


Sunday 20 March 2005

Synchrony

I'm incredibly excited today.. I experienced something that I don't think many have had the opportunity to - synchronised traffic in Bombay!! It may not be intended by the authorities, but I shall give them the benefit of the doubt and say it is.

For the uninformed, synchronised traffic is a concept relatively new to the Indian roads. FYI, I first had a taste of it in Delhi some 8 or 9 years ago. It's the way a series of signals work so that you get all greens if you proceed at a certain speed. Warning - this next para might require some basic knowledge of the route from College to home. (both are mine i.e. my college and my home)

Begin on a Saturday evening at around 8:03 p.m. from College. Exit 'D' Road on to Marine Drive and catch the last part of the green signal (i.e. as its turning to amber). Then proceed at a steady 50 kmh in a northerly direction on Marine Drive until you come to the right at Chowpatty. Take the right and continue at a slower pace of around 30 kmh towards the Hughes Road junction. From hereon , it gets a little tricky, since the road from here to Nana Chowk is a little narrow, 50 kmh may feel faster than it is, but you have to hit 50 if you wish to hit the Nana Chowk green, heading towards Tardeo.

Throughout this you should keep hitting green signals without having to stop unless the line at the signal is really long. In which case I suggest you get on to a bike to complete this experiment successfully so that appropriate weaving may be performed as and when required. If you are unable to procure a bike, ask Lance Armstrong if he'll take you pillion.

As Mr. Armstrong has come up, I've recently noticed a number of people who have been wearing this yellow bracelet type thing (hereinafter referred to as the 'bracelet'. However - that it not to say that it looks like a piece of jewellery. It really looks like a wrist band) around their wrist. For those who are clueless about this - the bracelet is merchandise being sold to raise funds for Cancer patients under a Fund set up by or in collaboration with Lance Armstrong. I think it's a great idea, and while the bracelets are pretty gaudy aesthetically (that is to say that I hope they're not being used by individuals as a fashion statement), the idea and the support it looks to be receiving is fantastic. I just hope the funds are being used appropriately. (Don't look at me weirdly - this is just a hangover of knowing how certain things work..do not quote me on this!!)

A clarification needs to be issued about my previous blog "'Fun' in my life". It seems the Censor Board goes through publicity material as well.

OK.. I have decided that my calling in life is to be a member of that Censor Board. I wonder how one applies? Is there some sort of test to check whether one's hormones are working alright so as to ensure that the Board member's opinion is a valid one? I just hope that there are no geriatrics on that Board. It would be a shame to waste all that material on them.

Its pretty late at the end of a tiring day and I'm afraid I have no further interesting nor amusing tidbits to contribute to this blog. Oh.. I did win a trophy in College today and I'm occasionally kicked about it. That is I feel a bit light in the head (now I attribute that to the trophy, whereas some with not so straight minds may...) until I open my bag and re-examine my syllabus, its contents, and the part that it is still pending for me to complete. Either way, I've decided that regardless of what happens as regards my studying, I shall continue to ramble in my blog, as I often have in the past, in my undying quest to subject the majority of the people reading this to a level of boredom and frustration that my life brings upon me.

For once I don't have a quote to end this blog..but that's not on. So I shall just end with another from Kurt Cobain's collection of quotable quotes. This one's from a song called 'Serve the Servants' where he's basically talking about teenage angst directed at his parents amongst other infernally confounding life experiences that I'm pretty sure no one wants to know about (Not even me, I can assure you. Even though that book anna gave me might well be useful..hmm...some research tonight perhaps). It's a tad amusing if you think about it. Brought to my face that crooked smile some of you'll might have noticed in the past when things around me are awkwardly funny.

" I just want you to know that
I don't hate you anymore.
There is nothing I can say
that I haven't thought before. "

Friday 18 March 2005

'Fun' in my life

The past couple of days have been extreme 'study' days. I categorise these as days when I think about nothing other than studies. My life begins to revolve around my books, modes of transporting them to and from the College library and the selection of sweets that must be acquired during lunchtime to keep me going till evening. These days also produce boring blogs, but I shall endeavour to keep this as fun as I can.

Speaking of fun, the producers of a movie called 'Fun' have been arrested for obscene posters being put up all over Bombay
(at least). I must say that I find this a pretty ridiculous state of affairs. First, the State doesn't set up a Committee to whet all these posters.

(For information's sake.. and this is information I gather from these obscene posters... 'Fun' is about 3 wives who 'dared to swap their husbands'. 'Fun can sometimes be dangerous' is the punchline. All this is coupled with a few photos of semi nude males and females, who I presume are not each other's spouses in the movie)

Now back to the moot point- there is no Committee which can actually go through these borderline posters and declare them obscene or not..at least not to my knowledge, and I would usually know about these things. (Not to be misinterpreted, kindly) Second, the Indian Penal Code, under Section 292, doesn't quite define obscene although putting up such posters is a crime under 292.

It says
(and I cut-copy-paste relevant parts) that something shall be deemed obscene if

1. it is
lascivious; or
[lascivious - wanton; lustful; inclining or tending to lechery] - Chambers Dicitionary

2. appeals to the prurient interest; or
[prurient - itching; having an unhealthy interest in sexual matters; arousing such interest] - 'do'

3. its effect
is such as to tend to deprave and corrupt persons who are likely to read, see or hear the matter.

Criteria 1 and 2 are very vague. First, I sincerely doubt that an interest in sexual matters can be declared unhealthy. Second, wanton or lustful are very individual-centric terms and what is 'lustful' to one sad heterosexual need not be the same for a happy homosexual. The State, or more importantly the Police Force, is certainly not, in my opinion, qualified to interpret whether or not a poster turns me on.

Being rather subjective (note lack of sarcasm - I do not joke in some matters) and the present young generation being inherently corrupt before reaching the well accepted (and now disputed, I may add) puberty-conferring age of 12, it is difficult to see how Criterion 3 is applicable.

There is an interesting facet to this case here: the posters have been up for a month or so. This would imply that a young boy frequenting his neighbourhood railway station has been exposed to this 'corruption of the mind'. Therefore, he and the major proportion of young boys frequenting railway stations are already corrupted thanks to 'Fun'. So the next time some sex-ed-friendly producer decides to put up posters akin to these, the young boys mentioned earlier would not fall prey to Criteria 3. Would this then give the lust-promoting producer immunity from prosecution?

I think that this is where the progressive loss of morals in society would prove to be an effective argument to show that something like these posters can no longer be considered obscene. Don't get me wrong here - I don't defend such posters. I only enjoy looking at them while waiting for my train to arrive
on platform 2 and second, I believe that once the flood gates have been let loose, nothing less than martial law is going to revive the relative conservativeness that existed when I was a kid. As an alternative, a Censor boardesque Commission can be set up which will have the opportunity to closely examine lustful, lascivious and wanton materials and deprive others from doing the same.
(NB: If any representative of the appropriate Government is reading this blog - please consider this an official application to be a part of that Committee if and when it is set up)

There currently exists a state where I will not, or will be reluctant to use sex-based posters and ads to market a movie which is centred around a sexual theme because it is possible that the Police Force is likely to interpret 'obscene' under Section 292 differently from me. It seems quite a burden to put on a producer who has spent some six months of his life dreaming about the scenes in his movie.

LEGAL NOTICE:
1. I own the copyright for all my blogs. Any unauthorised use of the same is subject to legal action being initiated against that user. (I always wanted to put this down in my name someday)
2. None of the above legal interpretations is necessarily accurate and should not be relied upon consequent to producing a sexually-explicit movie unless the contents of the movie are first screened and ratified by the author of the said interpretations.

I end this blog, listening to this song called 'Tourette' by Nirvana, with this truth about our lives today:

"All things can corrupt perverted minds"
-Ovid

Wednesday 16 March 2005

Of Quakes, Whacking, Centennial Lectures and Bike Music

Its been a madly interesting day (Please note lack of sarcasm). I woke up one hour later than an ungodly one to see appa off. As always I came back up and wanted to promptly fall off to sleep. But there is this sinister thing making this sinister noise in my room - a wasp!

If it's not enough that I'm fairly scared of wasps and their sting, the attempted study of EM Forster's incessant use of an incredibly cryptic wasp analogy in 'Passage to India' last year has made me loathe these wonderful insects. (NB: Some years back - if I accurately recall the footage, it was when I was studying what an asymptote was - I filmed a wasp eating a fly..fascinating)

So I use yesterday's Economic Times and much to amma's astonishment, one whack and wasp is dead. Rememebr the whacking day episode on The Simpsons when Marge gets turned on by Homer's practising how to whack snakes - I figure if I can just get to a place like Springfield, I can show off my wasp whacking skills with an Economic Times and woo my brides-to-be.... hmmm..

So after a mournful funeral that lasts the flight of a dead wasp's body hurtling 13 floors to the earth, I go back to sleep. I wake up 45 minutes later and observe another wasp flitting around my tubelight.

Flashback - About 2 weeks ago, I killed a wasp which was trying to find an appropriate place in my room to procreate and raise its herd. Within the next 5 minutes, there were about a dozen wasps trying to get into my room..scary..god bless the man who invented windows.

In no mood to revisit those unpleasant times, I did what I would always do. I picked up the TOI and whacked the wasp. A few whacks later it was dead and another mournful funeral followed. I then proceed to the drawing room and find wasp no. 3 for today hovering around the tubelight. (the actual word that came to mind was mandarao-ing - Hinglish, for the uninformed) In a feat of great bravery and courage (Remember, I haven't had my morning coffee yet) I pick up the nearest paper - a Bombay Times edition - and whack the wasp. And then keep whacking for a couple of minutes till a funeral may be arranged.

Moral of this extensive story - An ET is more useful than a TOI, which in turn is more useful than a BT.

I'm told there was an earthquake in Maharashtra yesterday. Amma called me a few minutes after it took place and put forth the question which any concerned mother would in the cirumstances..very excitedly, I may add - "So did you feel it?" It seems the male members of my family are relatively immune to detecting seismic activity. (Go somewhere else seismologists - maybe John Travolta can help out - remember Phenomenon?)
Anyway - the key thing is that the TOI front page came up with some pathetic headline ridiculing the fact that people ran down their buildings after the quake.

I don't get it - when an earthquake hits - do TOI editors sit and wait for the building to collapse, if at all, when they're still in it, or would they be the first ones on the street with hi-fives all around when it does collapse and gives them an extended break? I am yet to understand the journos mind.. I plan to never try to either.

I don't enjoy centennial lectures. I've now listened to two from two very distinguished ladies and they've rambled and read and communicated with an audience of 300+ as effectively as a non-slapstick Swahili speaking stand-up comedian in Moscow would. I also find that spontaneity is not a word that is retained in their vocabulary during these lectures just as attentiveness ceases to be one in mine.
The next centennial lecture I attend must necessarily be given by Ram Jethmalani who spoke for 30 minutes impromptu at the DMH inaugural. Today's speaker was given less than 3 months. The organisers were very apologetic about the short time given. Mr. Jethmalani incidentally (and this is not my fault) found out that he had to speak when he read a news clipping in the morning which said that he would deliver the Inaugural Address in the evening.
This in no way means that I expect either Romila Thapar or Kapila Vatsyayan to speak as well as Ram Jethmalani. But I certainly do not expect them to communicate through sentences with 4 sub-clauses in them nor read out a piece of literary work that will occupy a rather large portion of one of EPW's upcoming editions.

The events of the day, and in particular the unavoidable loss to wasp life in Bombay, all put me in a very low mood. Pantera's rendition of their original "Fucking Hostile" played on my iPod loud enough to be heard by the neighbouring car when on my bike, while narrowly avoiding getting totalled at high speeds, quickly lifted my spirits. (Don't worry anna - the bike is yours and the manouveres are exaggerated. All to try and impress my female readers - do permit me some literary license)

I find the experience of playing my music at exceedingly loud levels when on 'my' bike extremely refreshing. The reason being I can't hear a thing except the music. There comes onto my face this lovely ignorant smile when the cabby behind me is honking and screaming his lungs out for me to get going after the signal has turned green. It's a whole new world when I'm on the bike and with my iPod on. I recommend it for anyone who listens to loud music, owns/temporarily possesses (like me) a bike and an iPod/walkman and has sufficient confidence that he/she will earn enough by the age of 35 to be able to afford hearing aids.

Going down Marine Drive at a very sedate 40 kmh.. one of my favourite Nirvana songs came on - "France's Farmer will have her Revenge on Seattle". Here's the punch line in the chorus that really got me thinking the first time I heard it:

"I miss the comfort in being sad"

May depressed, suicidal, genius heroin addicts like Kurt Cobain who gave us this awesome music be blessed.

Tuesday 15 March 2005

Me and my moots

Moots seem to have become an integral part of my life - or so I believe..or maybe so I hope. Today, for the first time I sat on the other side of things and judged a practice moot. It was interesting to note how unreasonable one becomes when you aren't mooting. I'll probably curse aggressive judges a lot less now.. provided, of course, that I win the moot.

Anyway - on to more mundane things now and the ever-efficient Bombay University has finally told us when our exams will be held..which reminds me..I think I have prelims starting day after tomorrow. Hmmm.. probably time to open up the Environmental Law book and get past this nonsense about who gets my ever-dwindling estate when I die. I have also received a rude shock as regards my mobile phone bill for the month of January. It seems calling it the MCA PCO wasn't too far off the mark with a Rs. 2183 bill. I can only picture amma's face when she first saw it with much amusement...laughter is the best medicine isn't it?

When life is dull in general, one enjoys perking it up with ridiculous ventures that usually don't cross the sanest of minds. It seems my life isn't quite dull enough.. I had a meeting with the freshers about next year's DMH..11 months away. (What's wrong with me??) (Clarification: That question was merely rhetorical and need not be answered through a comment.)

Today's blog is quite a ramble and yet I feel good when I sit down on my Computer and 'Punch the keys' (remember Sean Connery in 'Finding Forrester'?) for 10 minutes. I recommend it for anyone with a mildly foolish brain and a penchant to produce works of literary genius despite a lack of neural activity above the eyes. I just put up one of my favourite poems on my wall in front of my table..here's an excerpt from it - no speech or piece from me is ever complete without a quote:

"I am a part of all that I have seen.
Yet all experience is an arch wherethro'
Gleams that untravell'd world, whose margin fades
For ever and for ever when I move."

Wouldn't it be wonderful to sometimes just follow the road you really want to without having to stop and look at the scenery because everyone else does, and because fuel is too expensive to keep moving without earning?

Sunday 13 March 2005

2nd is the Best?

Two second places in a week... not shabby and yet not ideal. Leaves me craving for bit more - Yeh Dil Maange...you know the punchline.

Things have been different since DMH was over - a rather gaping void in one's life. I filled it with one lousy two-day moot (NB: 2 Memorials drafted in 12 hours - Respondent's in one and a half) and a Human Rights forum - god alone knows what I was doing there! No one should be subjected to doing a two-day moot is my conclusion. The forum, on the other hand, was not too bad.. a novel experience..details when my caffeine filled brain permits disclosure.

Had a Practical Training exam today - have always wondered where I would learn the unwritten code that governs a lawyer's conduct. 12 hours of studying for the exam later, (from poorly compiled photocopies of various books, including what I suspect is a Jhabvala) I am still wondering. I guess I leave it to fate and when I pick up and throw a shoe at a Judge. (it could happen if some of the people I meet everyday turn into Judges.. Disclaimer: Do not begin imputing names to the abovementioned description..I hereby deny all intention of maligning any specific person)

This was followed by a viva-voce - oral exam for the uninitiated. "So what are the facts of Rajendra Singh v. State of Bihar" One would presume the requirement of a pause from the examiner to permit the examined (aka shreyas) to answer. Presumption overruled "In this case..."
"Yes Ma'am..absolutely.. you are right" Haven't they always been..regardless?

We were fortunate enough to be treated to a sample of 'objective questions'. 8 MCQ's and 5 Fill in the Blanks. Time alotted: 30 minutes. A royal 138.5 seconds per answer. Break-up:
1. 10 seconds to read the question twice.
2. 30 seconds to ensure the glasses you're reading through are cleaned thoroughly - this can get bit trying when repeated 13 times.
3. 10 seconds to locate the nearest male candidate - once again, practice makes things faster here.
4. 45 seconds to discuss the Indo-Pak test with male candidate - sorry state of affairs when we can't get 7 wickets over 2 days.
5. 20 seconds to stare in a forwardly direction to ensure that the invigilator thinks you're 'good boy' - this is the trump card that can bloat in size when you begin to cut down on time spent on other activites.
6. The exam??? Oh yeah - 20 seconds to take a flash poll on the answer from adjoining candidates.
7. 3.5 seconds to produce one of the most beautifully crafted tick marks you will ever see.

Roll Nos. 85 - 95 may be in some trouble.. I think we all got Q. 3 of FITB's wrong..not to mention, we all wrote the same wrong answer too! There must be more too..just haven't detected it yet.

The exams continue to hover over the heads of the 1500 lucky students of the great Government Law College. Its not so much a burden or a task as it is an irritation..particularly when the MCQ's are too hard only for a 5-year old to answer. A bright 5-year old like the one I used to be would have cracked the objective paper. (btw.. when in doubt - the answer is (c))

And so..it's to the books me lad... with this thought from Ambrose Bierce to round up my much delayed 2nd blog and show the world what a great human being I am in my unwavering quest to come first soon:
"Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows"